Category Archives: Joe’s Valley

Top 5 Climbs Across the USA!

We thought this might be an interesting experiment:
We asked ourselves, “What have been our favorite climbs of the trip?”

It was difficult to narrow it down, but here are our five favorite climbs in each area (with heights and ape indexes shown to potentially explain preferences). Top five are listed in order of increasing grade, not order of favoritism. If someone of a more “normal” height would like to submit their favorites, please do so. Or just add your own can’t-miss climbs in the comments below! What are your favorite climbs in these – or other – bouldering areas?

tall short
The Southeast
(Rocktown, Little Rock City, Middle Creek, Zahnd)
1.Full Circle V5 (Rocktown)
2. Harvest Moon V8 (Zahnd)
3. Deliverance V10 (Middle Creek)
4. Golden Harvest V10 (Rocktown)
5. Iron Claw Sit V10 (Rocktown)
1. Asphalt V4/5 (Rocktown)
2. Little Bad V5 (Rocktown)
3. Nose Candy V6 (Rocktown)
4. Standard Deviation V6 (Rocktown)
5. Jerry’s Kids V7 (LRC)
(Horseshoe Canyon Ranch, Cowell)
1.Le Beak V4 (Cowell)
2. Kung Fu V8 (HCR)
3. Jeff’s Prow V9 (HCR)
4. Ab Lounge V10 (Cowell)
5. Off the Rails V10 (Cowell)
1. Dirty Bitch V3 (HCR)
2. Le Beak V4 (Cowell)
3. Campus Card II V7 (Cowell)
4. Electrolica V7 (Cowell)
5. Orb Weaver V8 (HCR)
Joe’s Valley
1.The Angler V2
2. Notting Hill V8
3. Playmate of the Year V9
4. Eden V10
5. Ghost King V11
1. Stumble Bum Traverse V5
2. Low Tide V6
3. Planet of the Apes V7
4. Spam V7
5. Tug Boat Complex V9

Wouldn’t it?

“It would be really rad if we left Orangeville without hitting any animals, wouldn’t it?”

So mused Drexel as we drove out of Joe’s Valley for potentially the last time, slowing down to avoid hitting a fat and sassy brown cow ambling lazily down the middle of the road. It blinked at us dreamily. Not less than a minute later, a desert hare zoomed across the road just inches from death. It is really a miracle that we haven’t hit (or been hit by) any of the numerous suicidal wildlife in Joe’s. Especially the deer. Oh gods, the deer. One of our friends was slammed into by a deer who seemed so indignant that he couldn’t be run over, that he decided, “Screw it, I’m just going to ram my body into YOU.”

I can’t blame these animals really. Living in Joe’s Valley without a prehensile, multi-fingered extremity necessary for rock climbing would be pretty bleak. The heat, the dryness, the lack of access to the latest Game of Thrones episode… it’s enough to drive anyone into a frenzied depression.

So yes, leaving Joe’s Valley. Sad goodbyes to the amazing Frenchies and Texans who we’ve had such a blast climbing with the past few days. (I’m re-inspired to use my rest days for learning languages on Duolingo). I was slacking on the photos and took a total of zero shots, so hopefully we can “borrow” some from other folks and share them with you soon.

Highlights that will never be known unless I share them now:

  • Vijay climbed all three of the V10s on the Smile boulder in one fell swoop, winning himself three butterfinger donuts and the awe of many.
  • Chris “C.C.” Carl managed to win the Feels Like Grit V8 donut contest, as the first (and only) one to send this crazy thing.
  • Christine put a lot of effort in and finally sent the gorgeous Angler V2!
  • I got my first V9 (however soft) with Tugboat Complex, which thankfully had nice open-hand holds that didn’t further tweak my injured finger.
  • Carlos should have flashed Planet of the Apes V7, but he punted off the top. And then redeemed himself by sending it next go.
  • Nadia discovered her new promising career that involves systematic Cadbury egg goo and hissing toes.

There are more, but we need to hit the road and get our butts over to Moab, UT since we were aiming to be there at noon. We’ll be there today (Saturday) through Tuesday morning, and then….. ? Who knows! Lake Tahoe? Or perhaps something we don’t even know about yet? I’m fully reveling in this freedom that I know will be sorely missed when I’m stuck in a full-time job that dictates how I spend every hour of the day. (Shh! Don’t tell me! I don’t want to know!!!)

Trying to cram life into words

I read somewhere that the act of crossing things off your to-do list (especially with red ink) releases happy chemicals in your brain. Whether or not this is true, I certainly get a kick out of crossing things off in the guidebook.

Today I circled around the U.M.W.A’s “Small One” boulder with two pads and sang loudly to myself (don’t worry, nobody else was around) as I attempted to flash all eleven of the problems ranging from V1 to V7. Trying to flash a problem is great practice because it forces me to actually think. (I know, this is highly unusual.) Where I didn’t get a flash, I was able to figure out what I did wrong and send within another go or two. While some of these problems were pretty awful (e.g. Small One V2 that starts with a tiny wanna-be mono – no thanks), most were rather enjoyable/adorable (if you haven’t noticed, those are synonymous for me when it comes to climbing).
Continue reading Trying to cram life into words

Oot in a Boot

Another bittersweet parting from our latest climbing comrades. The past few days of climbing and Food Ranching have been full and wonderful. We’ve had days of climbing amid repeated waves of snow flurry armies, a visit to the museum in nearby Castle Dale, and yesterday the most productive yet playful circuit day in ages with the perfect blend of Canadians and Southerners (even though we’re all considered “southerners” to Canadians, eh?).

After the rain.

Continue reading Oot in a Boot

Butterfinger Donuts for Dinner

It was blue skies and golden sun when out of nowhere the wind picked up and blew in snow. On such a nice day, the white flurries looked like a team of perfectly choreographed fairies doing synchronized swimming across the desert. This lasted for maybe 5-10 minutes, and then the day returned to normal and we kept climbing.

Snow swirling around the shortie-beta double knee-bars on Planet of the Apes, v7.

Continue reading Butterfinger Donuts for Dinner